A glimpse of a mothers grief

The following was written by my sister, Kathy, to her son, Adam. It's a glimpse into the heart of grief and faith.

ADAM,
I no longer pray for you. That seems like a strange thing for a mother to say, but it is true. I thank God for your life and the blessing of being your mother, but I no longer feel an need to pray for you. For 28 yrs and 8 days I prayed for you and ask God to keep you safe, and now I find myself struggling with His answer. I think that most of the time, we see ourselves as earthly children of God and that is the way we pray. But God sees us as His eternal children, and that is the way He answers. God has answered my prayer and you are now safe for all eternity. It is amazing how His answer causes so much pain and sorrow for the earthly child of God and at the same time gives so much joy & comfort to this eternal child of God.

Just another example of the awesome mother she is.

Things overheard

O.K this is weird, but have you ever been in a public bathroom, and overhear other conversations. Two different stuations keep playing in my mind.

One mother was super concerned about having her child in a public bathroom and she repeatedly said, "Don't touch! Don't touch! Don't touch! I guess I was expecting her to also say, "Don't breathe!" I felt the anxiety in her voice and found myself holding my breathe.

Then, I heard a sweet mother /child conversation, nothing special being said, just going about the business of washing their hands. As they approached the door, the sweet girl said, "Ok, now out and about." Her mother responded, "Yes, out and about!"

It felt like a sweet special connection and I thought it sounded like all was right in their world.

As you are "out and about", I hope all is right in your world, with just a bit of "don't touch."

BLT, Walmart and 4th graders.

BLT's are rare at our house, cause I don't normally buy bacon. But, yesterday, it seemed the only thing available to fix for lunch. So. I'm getting stuff ready and ask Marcus if he wanted his bread toasted. I loved his response. He answered, "Sure, if that's what you want." Don't know why, but immediately I told him, that I loved that answer and wondered if he would have the same response if I ask for extra shopping money. He replied, "Sure, if that's what you want." Now the battle within me wants to take him seriously, but I know that he was just kidding. It was music to my ears for a moment.

What question would you ask, if your husband had that response?

Alex was home for a week, and we had a night of pure silliness and fun. I ask him what name he wished he had. I think his answer had the title King in it. I reminded him that I could have named him after his Great, great, grandfather, Augustus Erastus De vault. (He wasn't a king, but a Indian Territory sheriff and gambler) Before long, Alex was calling Lana to say that when they (Nathan & Lana a few yrs. from now) have a son, they should name him Walter Martin, so we can call him Walmart.

Have you wished for a different name?

We got our Mvule Tree book,(More than just a Mvule Tree) written by the 4th graders in Denton, TX and dedicated to Adam. It is such a sweet story. As corny as it might sound, I think the angels are rejoicing over this gift. You can feel the spirit of goodness in a group of kids that have no idea how great their message is and their contribution to healing some broken hearts.

It happened again!

Again, Myra showed me how to blog pictures, and again I am missing a step, and can't figure it out. I knew I should have written the steps down. I have precious pics of Morgandy. We miss that sweet smile and happy heart around here. It did Grando, my mom, a world of good to feel the love of her great granddaughter. We enjoyed getting wet kisses and kinda-sorta hugs. We watch as she wanted (so bad) to get a move on, but hadn't got the routine in order.

Again, God is using Adam's life to reach others. A family came to Adam's funeral. When the lady returned to her 4th grade class, she shared the reason Adam was in Africa. When the students learned that he was helping villages grow Mvule trees, they researched the benefits of that project, (www.kibogroup.com) wrote a book about it, and dedicated it to Adam. The book has been published and the students have earned $1300 to help plant Mvule trees. (Order one from the kibo site.)

Again, one of Adam's goals was fulfilled. He hope to live a life worth writing about, and who would have thought that a 4th grade class would do just that.

Again, God's timing helped mend a broken heart. Kathy & Terry had just returned from Uganda, having gone thru Adam's things and to the accident site, when they were ask to come to the book presentation and see the effect their precious son had on a school.

God just happens to bless us again & again!

Reflections!

Wow! What a week this has been.
Marcus is in Guatemala, learning Spanish, but still able to work on buying a house.
Alex is almost a SR in college.
Myra is keeping us posted on blessings and challenges of being Morgandy's Mom
Lana is saying "He's the one!" and when she calls I can hear her smile.

I ponder over what is happening in our family, with our kids, & I feel my head spinning. (in a good way)

So, I take a break, drift off into blog land and come across this song, wishing I had heard it, and it slows me down and says what I wish for my family and all that is transpiring in their lives.

My WISH

Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

and each road leads you where you want to go,

and if your faced with a choice

and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window,

If its cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

But more than anything, more than anything...

My wish for you,

Is that life becomes all you want it to,

your dreams stay big,

your worries stay small,

you never need to carry more than you can hold,

and while your out there getting where your getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you,

and wants the same things, too.

Yeah, this is my wish.

I hope you never look back,

but you never forget,

all the ones who love you,

in the place that you left,

I hope you always forgive,

and you never regret,

and you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake,

and always give more than you take.

But more than anything, more than anything...

My wish for you,

is that life becomes all that you want it to,

your dreams stay big,

your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

and while your out there getting to where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you

and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this is my wish.

Stars & Windows

I love the way topics come up randomly. As I was shopping for cards this week, one birthday, one sympathy, both having the common theme of heaven.
The sympathy card suggested that just maybe the stars are really openings in heaven and the light comes from our loved ones bright smile of happiness. I often wondered if a new star appeared, when someone died. Anyway you look at it, stars are a comforting gift from God.
(Living in Amarillo, we often joined our Dad on a blanket and looked at the stars. It was one of my favorite times as a child).

The birthday card reminded me of what happens when God opens a window. In Malachi 3:10b, He says, "I will... open for you the windows (Floodgates) of heaven and pour out for you much blessings, that there will not be room enough to receive it." (This is God's response to our gift of giving.)

These 2 cards have lifted my spirits and reminded me of HIS love.